Why Shaming Kids For Discipline Is Ineffective?
Researchers have found that chastising, belittling, and punishing children or shaming them might do more harm than good. The American Academy of Paediatrics (AAP), has a firm stand on the benefits of effective discipline, which refers to a consistent, firm, and fairway.
AAP research reveals that yelling or shaming children are minimally effective in the short-term and ineffective in the long term. According to the organization shaming children puts them at a high risk of adverse behavioral, cognitive, psycho-social, and emotional outcomes.
Likewise, Claire McCarthy, MD, senior faculty editor of Harvard Health Publishing, states that there is a fine line between criticizing and shaming a child. According to him, shaming kids can cause issues with self-esteem. Over time, they might start believing that there is something inherently wrong with them or that they are not capable of changing.
But what other ways that you can resort to if not punishing them? Parents must set expectations for their children, be a model of positive behavior, and allow the kids to understand the consequences of their actions. To teach children the positive behavior, it requires actively-engaged parents who can make children understand what acceptable behavior is. In addition to this, parents should give children tools to regulate their responses and to boost cognitive, social, and other needed development.
When you create clear rules and expectations followed by appropriate consequences, it establishes a foundation for effective discipline. In addition to this, you need to be consistent with your children so that they understand that you mean what you say.
Besides, psychologists suggest that rather than removing a child from a situation to stop their misbehavior, the parent must stay with the child in the situation until the child is calm. Parents should sit with the child and give them undivided attention. Parents should encourage the child to share what they are feeling and empathize with the child. Crystal Antonace, the attachment parent leader for the Chicago Northside Attachment Parents organization, says that doing so helps to center and redirect the child.
Antonace in an interview said that “When a child has a tantrum or acts out emotionally over something seemingly insignificant to an adult, he needs a connection to reaffirm feelings and to understand that frustration happens and is a part of everyday life.”
Sometimes, what looks like bad behavior on the surface is deep down a child’s inability to express thoughts or emotions accurately. Stooping on a child’s level, and acknowledging what they are feeling is a loving, healthy way to get through rough moments. This will help your children to learn how to behave correctly and help your bond with them to grow deeper and stronger.
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