Slate’s Care and Feeling advice column featured a letter from an anonymous mother. Sho is worried that her smoker MIL will visit them and will make her soon-to-be-born baby sick with third-hand smoke.

She is not worried that the MIL will smoke around the baby; she is more concerned about her holding the baby after she has had a cigarette.

Third-hand smoke is the chemical residue of tobacco smoke contamination. It clings to clothing, wall, furniture, carpet, cushions, hair, skin and other materials after you have smoked a cigarette. The residue can react with the indoor surroundings to make a toxic substance and it may even cause cancer to non-smokers, especially toddlers and children.

The mother and her husband have come up with a solution. They have decided to request the MIL to take a bath every time she smokes a cigarette and is about to touch the baby.

She will have to change her clothes every single time as well.

She is worried that this might upset her husband’s mother. Hence, she wants to come up with a less offensive way to broach the topic.

Her letter read, “We don’t want my mother-in-law to feeling ostracized, and we don’t want to hurt her feelings, but obviously, those are likely potential outcomes”.

How can we still be welcoming and let her know we are excited to have her around while still setting these boundaries? Also, how long should we remain this strict about the issue? How should we handle this when we are visiting my in-laws?”

The solution they have come up with seems to be extreme to her and she doesn’t want to go with it.

Even people disagree with the solution.

A woman commented, “If your goal is for your MIL to never see your kid, go ahead with this.”

Some asked her to get advice from an expert. The comment read, “I am not sure what your exact plan is, fresh clothes and shower after every cigarette? Grandma is going to feel shamed and unhappy, and what a sad start that will be to their relationship. If you don’t trust internet randos, ask a pediatrician to weigh in on what the risk is and how to mitigate it.

”Maybe it is a bit extreme and maybe it isn’t. Which mother is not concerned about her kid’s health, especially if the baby is still a newborn? But is it really a way out of this situation?

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