Kids undergo a lot of behavioral changes as they grow up and losing their affectionate side is just one of them. They no longer utter those loving words to their parents and repel hugs. We all know how the teenage phase goes and the changes can be different for every kid. One mom explained how she had been dealing with her teen daughter turning into an impassive and detached person but the people were not impressed!
Parents can’t expect their kids to always be the same loving and tender little ones. A lot changes when they grow up and step into adolescence. However, it seems like this mom hasn’t come to terms with her 15-year-old daughter experiencing those changes and wants her to act in the same affectionate way she did a few years ago.
The mom wrote, “So for whatever reason my 15 year-old daughter has taken a real issue with saying ‘I love you’ or hugs, I’ve spoken to her about it but she just kind of laughs it off. I’ll say goodnight love you and she’ll say something like ‘Ha! Ok good for you’.”
“Now I’d take that personal if she didn’t also say it to my husband and her siblings. She also completely rejects hugs.”
This mom found herself in a perplexing situation when she witnessed her daughter being unloving and withdrawn. She could not understand the reason behind this behavior and decided to take action by forcing the 15-year-old to express love through gestures despite the teenager’s discomfort.
“I was picking her up from her father’s when he said ‘see you later, love you’ and her siblings said it back but all she said was ‘yeah ok,’ I don’t get it,” the mom shared. “He went in to hug her and she dodged.”
This attitude made her mom feel embarrassed and so, she became sterner and twisted her arm to make her drop that attitude.
She added, “I apologised and said she’s just going through an awkward teen phase and told her to hug him goodbye, she got all awkward and some relatives who were at her fathers (stepmother, grandmother, aunt and siblings) laughed at how awkward it was.”
This incident filled the teen with rage and she lost her temper. “She stormed up to her room when we got home and called me a [expletive]. My husband thinks maybe I crossed a line and should apologise but I didn’t laugh? All I wanted her to do is hug her dad,” the mom revealed.
The Reddit users didn’t support this mom’s action. The concerned readers told her that she might have taken this way too far by forcing her to be affectionate. There could be some concealed reason for her daughter’s discomfort regarding these loving gestures and expressing affection that hasn’t been communicated.
“Don’t force her to hug people she doesn’t want to hug. It’s her body. Have an actual conversation with her about why she feels weird about saying ‘I love you’ (which could just be normal teenager stuff) but don’t force her to touch or be touched by people when she doesn’t want to. It doesn’t matter who they are,” one user commented.
Another one wrote, “You are teaching her that her personal boundaries do not matter. She doesn’t have to give hugs if she doesn’t want to. The real issue here isn’t what she is doing, it’s why she is doing it. That is what you should be more concerned about.”
Parent-child conversations become more crucial when kids enter teenage life. These talks might be awkward and annoying but can’t be skipped. We hope this mom resolved the issue and had a friendly chat with the teen.