Proper Time With Children Is The Way Not Time-Outs
Parenting blogger Laurel Muhl is giving all the parents out there a new challenge of parenting. She wishes that all the parents should rethink the ways of their parenting and should realize whether it is right or wrong? She tries to connect the behavior of the parents with their children when they are toddlers and its effect on the relationship when the children enter their teenage.
Muhl shared that “When our kids are small and trying to manage emotions, they can’t express what they are feeling. They throw tantrums, they throw things, they have meltdowns, they scream and they whine. This is their way of communicating with us.” Instead of isolating them we should hear them and their tantrums. If they are willing to talk to us, then we should do the same. If we shut them out now they will shut us out in teenage which is not good for a parent-children relationship.
We should not teach our children to suppress their emotions but should help them resolve their issues patiently. We should help our children to organize, process and express their feelings. We should help them to voice out their opinions. Every phase and emotion that any individual goes through is important and should be patiently dealt with.
If we suppress their feelings and emotions now we are teaching them to not express themselves which will become a huge problem in later years. She shared that “Give your child permission to feel. Let them know their feelings are valid and that you care, no matter how small. Make sure they know that they are heard. Pretty soon meltdowns over crayons will turn into breakups, heartbreak, sex, or even depression. You want your child to know that you will always hear them, no matter how small. You are their safe space.”
She shared her personal experience, “We didn’t talk about feelings or emotions. This affected me much in early adulthood as I struggled with relationships, anxiety, and depression and never felt like I could reach out to anyone. Because of this lack of emotional build-up in my life, I have always known that my child’s emotional development would be a top priority in our household.”
People read it and felt Muhl’s post, while there were people wholeheartedly agreed and disagreed with what she said. Some said “The problem with kids today is that they have no discipline and they feel isolated because of phones and social media. They have no idea how to properly socialize thus making them isolated!”
Others believed that “There’s a thing called ‘time in’. You remove the child from the situation and sit with them. They sit quietly while you read or something that you can do next to them (maybe you can even fold laundry or do the dishes) until they are ready to discuss what was going on. Then you role-play how they should handle the situation.” Give your children proper time and don’t shut them out.
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