There are times when kids utter some unexpected words and parents find it hard to wrap their heads around it. However, while things may seem to take a turn for the better when they grow older, such instances may still occur as this one mom shared in her Reddit post. She explained how her 19-year-old daughter has held her parents responsible for ruining her life. The reason is alarming!
Dealing with the pandemic has been tough for everyone and it definitely had an impact on our mental well-being. From little ones to adults, every person had felt the effect to a certain extent. This Reddit user revealed her daughter’s situation during the crisis and how she had been talking to a therapist.
“My daughter, 19, is going through a tough time. On top of the obvious difficulties of the pandemic, she has been struggling with depression. Her classes are all online so she lives with us,” the mom wrote.
The original poster (OP) further shared that her daughter has been staying with them for a long time now due to her online classes. But being with her parents around the clock had not been a pleasant experience for either of them despite the efforts to uplift her mood.
The OP explained, “In the last couple days she has been displaying a lot of resentment over her childhood. I’m specifically talking about ages 12 to 14. During those years, her father, my husband, was diagnosed with prostate cancer and was going through aggressive chemo.”
She admitted that those years were challenging and quite tough for them to deal with as a family.
“My daughter is an only child and was used to our full attention and engagement. It was a hard transition for her to have her father not be able to care for her like he used to and myself having to split my time between her and my husband,” she recalled.
They moved out of that phase slowly and with the help of some family therapy but turns out, their daughter had never entirely recovered from that experience.
The OP continued, “Yesterday she was in a bad mood. During dinner I asked her what was going on and she went into this explosive rant about how many issues she developed due to us. Apparently we are responsible for her grades slipping, her relationships failing, her weight gain, etc. She tied it all back to her missing crucial development during the years where her father had cancer.”
This discussion worsened at the dinner table and the 19-year-old blamed her father for making her life miserable all these years. “You basically deprived me of a childhood,” the girl told her parents.
“My husband says ‘I’m sorry honey, I could have done better, and I could have done more for you’,” the mom shared. However, the OP had no plans to apologize to her. Instead, she wanted to make sure that her daughter realizes that she had spoken some really hurtful words.
The OP explained, “I shut that down and told her ‘No, you are not going to guilt your father into apologizing for having cancer. This is unacceptable. You need to accept that life is not fair and there is very little we can do about it. Go to your room and calm yourself down’.”
“I love my daughter and want her to be happy. At the same time, I do believe she is at an age where she needs to take on personal accountability.”
She asked people if she had made a wrong decision by reacting to her daughter’s rant in a temper. Most Reddit users told her that her daughter needs to learn some lessons.
“Your daughter is an adult, and as you said, needs to learn that life is not fair. Your husband did not choose to get cancer, or the timing of it, one reader expressed. “Depression is awful, and I am glad your daughter is seeing a counselor, but it may be worth her visiting her doctor, and seeing if there is more that can be done. Hang in there, Mama, but do not feel guilty or let your husband feel guilty, either.”