Breaking up can feel like you're on the world's craziest rollercoaster – ups downs and unexpected turns. It doesn't matter if you're the one who decided to end things or if you're on the other side; it's tough either way.

But here's a little secret: you're not alone in this. Breakups are a part of life and guess what? Loads of people go through them. It's almost like a shared human experience. That's why we're here with this guide. 

Think of it as your friendly map through the maze of emotions and decisions that come with a breakup. We're going to walk you through it step by step with some easy-to-understand advice. So take a deep breath and let's dive in together. And we're here to help you navigate this journey with a bit of understanding and a lot of heart.

The Isolation of Breakups

Breakups can be isolating. It's difficult when you no longer have the person you used to confide in to talk to and share things with. That feeling of isolation can lead to negative thoughts and rumination which only make you feel worse.

Lauren Aldridge a relationship therapist talks about how she sees many people struggle with this sense of isolation and rejection post-breakup. One thing that can help is acknowledging that breakups are a common experience and it's okay to ask for help during this tough time.

Love is Complicated

Love is not easy; it takes work and commitment to keep a relationship going. Unfortunately not every relationship is built to last. That’s why divorce rates in Western countries are so high. Most likely you’ll have to go through a breakup at some point in your life.

It is a tough experience to go through as it can feel like all the memories and hard work you put into the relationship were for nothing. It can feel like having the rug pulled out from under you leaving you scrambling for solid footing.

Raw Grief

Breakups can feel like they split us open. They can be incredibly painful and trigger grief in a way that feels all-consuming. It's difficult because it often feels like we don’t get the closure we need to move on from the relationship. That’s a universal feeling that even relationship therapists experience including Aldridge.

A Relationship Therapist Shares Her Story

Aldridge takes a unique perspective on breakups as someone who has gone through a breakup herself while working as a relationship therapist. She talks about how it’s a strange experience to hold space for clients as they go through the process of healing from a breakup while dealing with their breakup. In her personal life Aldridge was learning to cope with her own emotions while in her professional life she was expected to hold space for her clients.

It was difficult to compartmentalize her emotions so she could remain objective and supportive of her clients. However it was empowering to acknowledge that being human does not make her any less capable of being an effective therapist. What you can take from Aldridge's story is that it is okay to feel like you don't have everything figured out when you’re going through a breakup.

Understanding Counter-Transference

As therapists Aldridge and others like her go through breakups and have to work through their own emotions while holding space for their clients going through similar experiences. What's interesting is that going through a breakup themselves can make them better at their job.

They have firsthand experience of the emotional toll that a breakup can take and how to work through it. Aldridge talks about how therapists go through a process called counter-transference where they may experience their triggers while supporting their clients. It's important to note that therapists are trained to recognize and cope with these feelings so they don't unintentionally harm their clients.

Embracing Sadness Pain and Stress

The counseling process doesn't involve avoiding negative emotions like sadness pain or stress. Rather it involves embracing and processing them. Everyone has their unique path to healing and there's no one-size-fits-all solution. What's important is that you take care of yourself by doing things that make you feel good.

Some people find it helpful to reach out to friends or family who they trust to listen and provide support. Others find that practicing self-care like exercising meditating or treating themselves to something they love helps them feel better.

Healing Takes Time

Remember that healing takes time. It's okay to take a break from dating for a while and focus on yourself instead. Use this time to learn new things explore new hobbies and reconnect with yourself. You've just gone through a difficult and emotional experience so it's okay to take things slow.

Breakups oh boy they can feel like a rollercoaster of emotions right? But here's the thing - you're not the only one riding this rollercoaster. It's like a universal experience; so many people go through breakups and believe it or not they survive and often end up happier.

It's normal to feel a mix of emotions - sadness anger confusion you name it. But the good news is there are ways to handle these feelings healthily.

Now I know it might feel like it's going to take forever to feel okay again but trust me time is a great healer. It's like putting together a puzzle; it takes patience and effort but eventually you see the whole picture. And that picture is you feeling stronger and more resilient.

One of the best things you can do? Reach out to people you trust - friends family maybe even a pet. Talking about what you're feeling can be super helpful. It's like letting out steam from a pressure cooker. Plus these are the folks who know you best and can offer the support you need.

Self-care is another biggie. It's not just bubble baths and ice cream (though those are pretty great too); it's also about doing things that make you feel good. Maybe it's going for a walk listening to your favorite music or just chilling with a good book. It's all about taking care of you.

And remember there's no rush. Everyone's journey is different. It's like baking a cake - you can't rush it or it won't turn out right. Take things at your own pace and before you know it you'll come out on the other side of this breakup feeling like a new and improved version of yourself. Keep your chin up!